Would you acknowledge it if I tell you that it is okay sometimes to feel insecure about yourself? That it is normal when someone tells you that you are not perfect? Yes, you can get emotional with the idea that you are not that good enough. But don’t worry. You are not alone. You don’t need to tell your therapist how bad the situation is because you can make things better. You only need to learn how to take those insecurities away from negativity and psychologically use it to work for you instead of letting it go against you.
What Contributes To Insecurities?
Most of us associate insecurities with negative thoughts and emotions. We do this because deep down, we know we can never become the perfect representation of a person we desire to be. That is okay. There is no single person in the world that can become emotionally, physically, and mentally secure. With that, you should not believe when others would say that insecurities do not hold value, because it does. “Learn how to stand up for yourself with compassion for others, deal with stress better, improve your mood, and learn to like yourself.” A piece of advice from April Lau, LMHC
The psychology behind our insecurities often relays a message broadcasted from our brains. Our mind is trying to tell us three potential meanings. First is the uncertainty of its ability to complete a task, second is the belief that it is moving in the wrong and different direction, and third is its mental dysfunction where it gets afraid to lose what it already has. But the significant thing about insecurity is its dominant source of motivation. Since we often move towards a reward, we attempt to do our best to keep ourselves away from pain. Therefore, once there is an understanding of the importance of feeling insecure, there are bigger chances of overriding the adverse outcome. That is through the process of giving ourselves as reassurance. As therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW explains, “Self-compassion is being gentle with yourself, not beating yourself up over your past decisions, and accepting that you are human and make mistakes.”
How Does It Become An Advantage?
The most remarkable benefit of being insecure is its capability to allow us to strive for something we want to achieve in life. When there is a learning of shifting insecurities into a potential goal, it provides a mental strength rather than emotional mayhem. That instead of making us feel weak and vulnerable, it allows us to think positively to handle any task. Therefore, insecurities exist to let us know that there is a need for improvement.
Insecurity takes a person into a hole when it gets misused. However, when we learn to understand it differently, it can potentially bring us forward. Because when we don’t try and know what our insecurities entirely are and don’t view it as something we should use, we will all end up hating ourselves. We will get stuck in the idea that we are not good enough and will never be no matter how much we try. Our insecurities will trap us in an unfavorable environment for too long, and it will become impossible to recognize a way out.
What Can You Do?
Instead of immediately trying to overcome our insecurities, we should first try and embrace it. We need to understand why it is there and what triggers it to grow profoundly. Once we gather all those possible things that add to its burden, we must make an evaluation. We need to ask ourselves why do we feel that way, why is there a need for a change, and why do we have to consider working towards the betterment of our overall well-being. Once we get to the different side of the story and finally be able to understand the purpose of changing, we can now start using our insecurities as a tool for development.
So the next time you feel insecure about yourself, do not ignore it. Do not choose to sit and watch it crawl up against you. Instead, use it as a power that will work to your advantage. Think of it as a fuel that will drive you to get what you desire and not something that will stop you from reaching your dreams. You need to remember; all people are insecure. They all have different types of issues in life that they are dealing with currently. But the best of them are using their insecurities to slowly blossom into something no one thought they could become. Never ignore the idea that you can also do the same. Yes, you might make a billion dollars in a year, become a CEO in a company, or be the best in your chosen career, but it does not mean you are incapable of doing so. Always take note that there is no limit to what you can accomplish on your own. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said.