Counseling in America

Can you breathe a sigh of relief now that your husband is no longer a devotee of alcohol?

Yes, yes, it is indeed marvelous to see your better half choosing water or juice over whiskey, gin, wine, or any beverage whenever you go out. You may also feel delighted by the fact that your man comes home without a stench of liquor wafting around him. Plus, you don’t need to sort the glass bottles he emptied and left on the floor as his drunken days are OVER.

However, the real question is: how confident are you that he’s not going to relapse?

 

You may look for various sources of information online, but most studies reveal that beating alcoholism once does not make anyone – not even your husband –immune to the addiction. While the probability of ending sobriety decreases as years pass by, time cannot guarantee that he won’t revert to his alcoholic ways. The sudden news of unemployment or mid-life crisis may strike your spouse, for instance, and that may enable him to fall back into his old steps.

“The term “alcoholic” places the problem within the person, not within the nature of the drug.” –Sara Nash, PhD, LMHC

Instead of getting worried sick due to this disclosure, though, you need to practice constant vigilance to notice the following signs of relapse.

 

 

1. Your Beloved’s Brain Is All Over The Place

Alcohol addiction is not too different from being in love, in the sense that your husband may only think of his subject of affection. Whereas the latter makes him dream of a special someone, though, the former allows him to fantasize about his favorite liquor and perhaps chugging its bottle until the last drop. Because of that, you cannot expect his thoughts to be present even when he is sitting across from you.

Given the reality that spacing out is not the only relapse indication, your significant other may try to redirect your suspicions. The man may tell you that it’s the exhaustion doing that to him or that he has too many things to ponder about in the office. Nevertheless, once you confirm that he barely does anything at his workplace, then you ought to accept the possibility that his addiction may be on the rise again.

2. It Does Not Take Much For Your Spouse To Snap In Anger

The deal with relapsing addicts is that they often contemplate whether they should return to their bad habits or not. These folks are highly aware of the consequences of what they’re itching to do – no doubt regarding that. At the same time, however, the need for their substance of liking must also be getting stronger. As explained by Hailey Shafir, LPCS, LCAS, CCS-I, “Addiction develops over time, as a person continues to use a substance and grows more dependent on it.”

With that idea in mind, you should take note of any extreme change in your husband’s mood. If his usually calm demeanor often dissolves when something does not go his way, that may be an indicator of impending relapse. If he yells at your kids for wanting to play with him, it can be another sign too.

3. He Finds Ways To Avoid Treatment Or, Worse, You

Last but not the least, your husband will try to relinquish his connection to people or things that help him get better if he is on the verge of relapsing.

At first, he may only skip treatment, saying that he has extra work to do. Other times, your spouse may claim that he feels okay enough to stop the therapy. Considering the excuses do not affect you anymore, he may then go out to shake you off and hide the truth that his love for drinking is coming back.

 

 

As the spouse of a former alcoholic, you have no choice but to take on the role of your husband’s minder. “There is a fine line which makes distinguishing alcohol abuse from alcoholism.”  Dr. Howard Samuels, PsyD explains. Make sure that he gets to manage his stressors well and that they do not cause anxiety or depression to grow in him. Know the typical characteristics of your better half; don’t be afraid to inquire if something seems amiss. Otherwise, you may have already noticed the signs of relapse in its early stages, and yet you ended up ignoring them and letting the addiction rule since you didn’t have any clue of what they may be.

Hopefully, the indications above will encourage you to learn more about alcohol relapse and save your better half from going through that. Good luck!

Helping a loved one recover from addiction is not an easy task, especially if you have no idea on how to do it. The first thing that you have to understand is that relapse can take place after your husband has decided to quit from his bad habits. This will happen regardless of the addiction that he has – whether it involves cigarettes, narcotics or alcohol. Second, believe in yourself that you have what it takes to help the other spouse. Never doubt your capacity to motivate him in recovering from the mental condition.

 

Continue Reading “Helping Husband With Addiction Relapse Issues”

 

Every married couple knows that staying in love and keeping the marriage alive is a complete struggle. Sometimes no matter how much two people love each other, there is still a possibility that they may end up going on separate ways. There are many reasons why a marriage can go down the drain. If you do not want to make your marital union end in divorce, then be sure to take note of these tips on how to save your marriage:

Continue Reading “How To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart”

People who suffer from mental health illnesses need to see a professional as soon as possible. This is necessary to address the harmful effects of the psychological condition. At this point, it is essential to emphasize the fact that physical illness can cause depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders. On the other hand, mental diseases can also lead to chronic pain. This is why a particular person may need to avail of the services of a psychiatrist and psychologist.

Continue Reading “Who Is Better: Psychiatrist Vs. Psychologist”

Would you acknowledge it if I tell you that it is okay sometimes to feel insecure about yourself? That it is normal when someone tells you that you are not perfect? Yes, you can get emotional with the idea that you are not that good enough. But don’t worry. You are not alone. You don’t need to tell your therapist how bad the situation is because you can make things better. You only need to learn how to take those insecurities away from negativity and psychologically use it to work for you instead of letting it go against you.

What Contributes To Insecurities?

Most of us associate insecurities with negative thoughts and emotions. We do this because deep down, we know we can never become the perfect representation of a person we desire to be. That is okay. There is no single person in the world that can become emotionally, physically, and mentally secure. With that, you should not believe when others would say that insecurities do not hold value, because it does. “Learn how to stand up for yourself with compassion for others, deal with stress better, improve your mood, and learn to like yourself.” A piece of advice from April Lau, LMHC

The psychology behind our insecurities often relays a message broadcasted from our brains. Our mind is trying to tell us three potential meanings. First is the uncertainty of its ability to complete a task, second is the belief that it is moving in the wrong and different direction, and third is its mental dysfunction where it gets afraid to lose what it already has. But the significant thing about insecurity is its dominant source of motivation. Since we often move towards a reward, we attempt to do our best to keep ourselves away from pain. Therefore, once there is an understanding of the importance of feeling insecure, there are bigger chances of overriding the adverse outcome. That is through the process of giving ourselves as reassurance. As therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW explains, “Self-compassion is being gentle with yourself, not beating yourself up over your past decisions, and accepting that you are human and make mistakes.”

How Does It Become An Advantage?

The most remarkable benefit of being insecure is its capability to allow us to strive for something we want to achieve in life. When there is a learning of shifting insecurities into a potential goal, it provides a mental strength rather than emotional mayhem. That instead of making us feel weak and vulnerable, it allows us to think positively to handle any task. Therefore, insecurities exist to let us know that there is a need for improvement.

Insecurity takes a person into a hole when it gets misused. However, when we learn to understand it differently, it can potentially bring us forward. Because when we don’t try and know what our insecurities entirely are and don’t view it as something we should use, we will all end up hating ourselves. We will get stuck in the idea that we are not good enough and will never be no matter how much we try. Our insecurities will trap us in an unfavorable environment for too long, and it will become impossible to recognize a way out.

What Can You Do?

Instead of immediately trying to overcome our insecurities, we should first try and embrace it. We need to understand why it is there and what triggers it to grow profoundly. Once we gather all those possible things that add to its burden, we must make an evaluation. We need to ask ourselves why do we feel that way, why is there a need for a change, and why do we have to consider working towards the betterment of our overall well-being. Once we get to the different side of the story and finally be able to understand the purpose of changing, we can now start using our insecurities as a tool for development.

Insight

So the next time you feel insecure about yourself, do not ignore it. Do not choose to sit and watch it crawl up against you. Instead, use it as a power that will work to your advantage. Think of it as a fuel that will drive you to get what you desire and not something that will stop you from reaching your dreams. You need to remember; all people are insecure. They all have different types of issues in life that they are dealing with currently. But the best of them are using their insecurities to slowly blossom into something no one thought they could become. Never ignore the idea that you can also do the same. Yes, you might make a billion dollars in a year, become a CEO in a company, or be the best in your chosen career, but it does not mean you are incapable of doing so. Always take note that there is no limit to what you can accomplish on your own. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said.

People who struggle with mental health issues are encouraged to undergo counseling. Counseling is a process of guiding individuals or groups to better mental health and wellness with the help of a professional. It is a collaborative process involving the counselor and his/her clients.

“We all experience obstacles in life that keep us from feeling and being whole. Many have found counseling as a way to invest in themselves, their relationships, or their families in order to support a better or new meaning on life.” –Ryan Mebust – LMFT

During counseling, participants are encouraged to tell their story and talk about their feelings. In response, the counselor helps the participant understand their emotions. He/She also set goals that will better the state of the participant’s well-being.

Source: pixabay.com

“Counseling is an empowering process in which people take responsibility for and control over their lives.”  Brittany N. Murphy, PHD, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH said. Counseling takes place in several sessions and is supposed to be completely confidential. That means that all information discussed should stay between the client or clients and their counselor.

Recently, online counseling has become a choice for those with mental health issues. The internet has allowed for this new avenue for mental health support and paved the way for sites like BetterHelp to come and offer mental assistance to people. However, this comes with its own set of pros and cons. This article will delve into the upsides and downsides of online counseling.

The Pros

Source: pixabay.com

 

• Online counseling is a good option for people who live in far-flung places.

Some rural or remote areas might not have institutions that offer mental health support services. Instead of traveling to the nearest city for every consultation, one can opt for online counseling. The key is a decent WiFi connection and a device that can access the internet. However, “This kind of effort takes a fair amount of commitment and understanding of the online world.” A reminder from John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

 

• It’s good for those with busy schedules or physical limitations.

If you’re working or have family obligations, online counseling is an option. The same goes if you have a condition that makes mobility difficult. It is convenient and comfortable because you don’t have to leave the house for your consultation.

 

• There are many ways the client and counselor can communicate.

The client is given many choices in terms of communication. You can talk using the written medium via emails or chat rooms. You can also choose to call your counselor or reach them via video chat. It makes it easier for the client because they get to choose the means of communication that they’re very much comfortable.

 

• Anonymity can be guaranteed.

If communication is through emails or chat rooms, there is less concern for bias. Everyone has preferences, including counselors, and this can stem from stereotyping based on age, race, gender, or physical appearance. With the fear of being stereotyped out of the way, the client can be more open with the counselor.

 

• It makes information more accessible.

Since contact with counselors becomes available online, the knowledge they have in mental health becomes more accessible. It ensures that information on mental health is present, even in the more rural and remote areas.

 

The Cons

Source: pxhere.com

 

• Technical difficulties can be a problem.

If you have bad internet or an old device, communication with your counselor can become difficult. You might spend more time configuring your microphone or fixing your internet router than actually talking about what you feel.

 

• The credibility of the counselor is questionable.

Various websites offer online counseling services, but licensed professionals manage not all of them. Some might be amateurs or inexperienced individuals who only claim to be counselors.

 

• The counselor does not see the nonverbal cues.

Counselors rely on what their client is saying as well as their physical responses. It helps them pinpoint how you feel. If you communicate with your counselor through email or in chat rooms, you will get rid of this.

 

• There are concerns regarding privacy and confidentiality.

By undergoing counseling through the internet, the content of your sessions become accessible online. These records won’t be easy to access, but a skilled hacker can get to them. It is a threat to the security of your files.

 

• The effectiveness of the practice is questionable.

Without any face-to-face interaction, many are beginning to question the efficacy of online counseling. Whether it can help in diagnosing patients is still up for debate.

These are only some of the pros and cons of online counseling. Keep these in mind when choosing between traditional counseling and online counseling. Both are sure to be helpful, but which one works better for you? Only you can answer that question.

The internet is not only an avenue for reconnecting with people and sharing funny content. It has now become a place where those in need of mental health support can seek professional help.

Everyone wants to have and keep a happy family at all times. No one wants to end up filing a divorce decree in court and fighting over child custody. However, several things have changed over the past few decades. Nowadays, several couples already decide to go on separate ways because of irreconcilable differences. Unfortunately, regardless of the marriage counseling sessions, they still find out that they are not compatible from since the beginning of time.

 

 

It can be heartbreaking for any person to realize that marriage counseling did not work. If you have experienced this, do not worry because it is not the end of the world. Below are some of the ideal things that you can do after realizing that counseling failed and that divorce is going to happen soon:

 

Stop The Blame Game

 

Never blame anyone for the failure of the marriage counseling efforts. No one deserves to be in a bad light just because you did not get what you want. Remember that counseling is not a guarantee that the problems in the marriage will be solved immediately. It is a form of treatment wherein the parties involved are given opportunities to discuss their issues maturely. As such, if counseling failed you, the best thing to do is to accept the reality and avoid blaming yourself or your spouse. At the same time, do not accuse the counselor of being incompetent.

 

Prepare To Say Goodbye

 

If you think that separation and divorce is imminent to happen soon, the next step that you must do is to prepare yourself for the goodbyes. Heather Edwards LMHC, NCC, BCC says, “It can be difficult to re-establish a healthy routine and empower yourself after a toxic relationship. Fortunately, coming to the realization that you need to let go is one of the most difficult steps.” It is difficult to end a marriage with someone whom you love for years. You will find yourself in constant denial because you are afraid of what the future may hold for you and your spouse. However, you have no choice but to part ways. Keep in mind that it is more disheartening and sad to stay in a loveless marriage. You deserve to start a new life as well as your husband. Let go and wait for better days to come.

 

Talk To A Friend

 

There is a high chance or possibility that you will start to feel helpless after the counseling efforts have proved to be futile. Do not easily get discouraged because there are still tons of people around you who are willing to help you move on from the sad experience. Do not hesitate to get in touch with a friend who can give you a different view or perspective of what is happening in your life. As Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC advises, “If you have had significant issues around trust, safety, or stability in relationships previously, I think it’s important for people to have other sources of support outside of their partner(s). This support can come in various forms such as friends, family members, clergy, and even a therapist.”

Feel free to open up to this individual, as long as you believe that she can be trusted. Sometimes, all it needs is to have a one-on-one talk with a good friend so that you can feel relief. Keep in mind that honesty is essential to make it work. If you continue to lie, then the people around you will end up hating you.

 

 

Observe Your Children

 

Not all parents know this, but children are observant individuals, which is why they can sense right away if there is something wrong with their parents. Do not think that your kids are not aware of what is happening between you and their father. Because of this, it is vital and imperative on your part o to be mindful of the kids involved. Observe their behavior and be sure to take note of the changes. Once you notice that they are acting weird and rebellious, that is the time to start a serious conversation with them.

 

Finalize The Divorce Papers

 

Did you and your husband finally decide to call it quits? Do you believe that it is about time to let go of each other? If you answered yes to both questions, then expect divorce to happen any time soon. What you must do is hire a legal counsel who must be from your area. This lawyer must have experience in handling divorce cases. Take note that divorce is a sensitive issue that must be addressed by a good lawyer. It involves adjudication of rights and obligations, which is why you must search for the best lawyer who can help in preparing the divorce papers. “All marriages are not salvageable. In the process of marriage counseling, some couples may discover it is healthier for them to be apart.” Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP explains.

 

Move On To Better Days

 

As already mentioned above, you are left with no choice but to let go of what has already happened. A divorce is not the end of it all. You still have a chance to become happy, regardless of how the marriage ended. The smart thing to do is to play your cards well. Do everything you can to move on, such as traveling around the globe or volunteering in new activities. Do whatever makes you smile and happy because you deserve it. Stop believing that your happiness depends on your husband or soon-to-be ex.

 

 

Do not hate marriage counseling just because it did not work for you. Remind yourself that a lot of things happen for a reason.