Overcome Insecurities And Love Yourself

Would you acknowledge it if I tell you that it is okay sometimes to feel insecure about yourself? That it is normal when someone tells you that you are not perfect? Yes, you can get emotional with the idea that you are not that good enough. But don’t worry. You are not alone. You don’t need to tell your therapist how bad the situation is because you can make things better. You only need to learn how to take those insecurities away from negativity and psychologically use it to work for you instead of letting it go against you.

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What Contributes To Insecurities?

Most of us associate insecurities with negative thoughts and emotions. We do this because deep down, we know we can never become the perfect representation of a person we desire to be. That is okay. There is no single person in the world that can become emotionally, physically, and mentally secure. With that, you should not believe when others would say that insecurities do not hold value, because it does. “Learn how to stand up for yourself with compassion for others, deal with stress better, improve your mood, and learn to like yourself.” A piece of advice from April Lau, LMHC

The psychology behind our insecurities often relays a message broadcasted from our brains. Our mind is trying to tell us three potential meanings. First is the uncertainty of its ability to complete a task, second is the belief that it is moving in the wrong and different direction, and third is its mental dysfunction where it gets afraid to lose what it already has. But the significant thing about insecurity is its dominant source of motivation. Since we often move towards a reward, we attempt to do our best to keep ourselves away from pain. Therefore, once there is an understanding of the importance of feeling insecure, there are bigger chances of overriding the adverse outcome. That is through the process of giving ourselves as reassurance. As therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW explains, “Self-compassion is being gentle with yourself, not beating yourself up over your past decisions, and accepting that you are human and make mistakes.”

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How Does It Become An Advantage?

The most remarkable benefit of being insecure is its capability to allow us to strive for something we want to achieve in life. When there is a learning of shifting insecurities into a potential goal, it provides a mental strength rather than emotional mayhem. That instead of making us feel weak and vulnerable, it allows us to think positively to handle any task. Therefore, insecurities exist to let us know that there is a need for improvement.

Insecurity takes a person into a hole when it gets misused. However, when we learn to understand it differently, it can potentially bring us forward. Because when we don’t try and know what our insecurities entirely are and don’t view it as something we should use, we will all end up hating ourselves. We will get stuck in the idea that we are not good enough and will never be no matter how much we try. Our insecurities will trap us in an unfavorable environment for too long, and it will become impossible to recognize a way out.

What Can You Do?

Instead of immediately trying to overcome our insecurities, we should first try and embrace it. We need to understand why it is there and what triggers it to grow profoundly. Once we gather all those possible things that add to its burden, we must make an evaluation. We need to ask ourselves why do we feel that way, why is there a need for a change, and why do we have to consider working towards the betterment of our overall well-being. Once we get to the different side of the story and finally be able to understand the purpose of changing, we can now start using our insecurities as a tool for development.

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So the next time you feel insecure about yourself, do not ignore it. Do not choose to sit and watch it crawl up against you. Instead, use it as a power that will work to your advantage. Think of it as a fuel that will drive you to get what you desire and not something that will stop you from reaching your dreams. You need to remember; all people are insecure. They all have different types of issues in life that they are dealing with currently. But the best of them are using their insecurities to slowly blossom into something no one thought they could become. Never ignore the idea that you can also do the same. Yes, you might make a billion dollars in a year, become a CEO in a company, or be the best in your chosen career, but it does not mean you are incapable of doing so. Always take note that there is no limit to what you can accomplish on your own. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said.

Ten Things To Remember If Your Loved One Has Anxiety

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If your partner is struggling with anxiety, it can take a toll on your relationship. If you don’t know how to help your partner and help yourself cope with all these negative emotions brought about by anxiety, it will destroy what you have as a couple. In the study of psychology on mental illnesses, anxiety is the leading problem of adults in the United States, and it kills their daily life functioning, including their relationships with loved ones.

The Pros And Cons Of Online Counseling For Mental Health

People who struggle with mental health issues are encouraged to undergo counseling. Counseling is a process of guiding individuals or groups to better mental health and wellness with the help of a professional. It is a collaborative process involving the counselor and his/her clients.

“We all experience obstacles in life that keep us from feeling and being whole. Many have found counseling as a way to invest in themselves, their relationships, or their families in order to support a better or new meaning on life.” –Ryan Mebust – LMFT

During counseling, participants are encouraged to tell their story and talk about their feelings. In response, the counselor helps the participant understand their emotions. He/She also set goals that will better the state of the participant’s well-being.

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“Counseling is an empowering process in which people take responsibility for and control over their lives.”  Brittany N. Murphy, PHD, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH said. Counseling takes place in several sessions and is supposed to be completely confidential. That means that all information discussed should stay between the client or clients and their counselor.

Recently, online counseling has become a choice for those with mental health issues. The internet has allowed for this new avenue for mental health support and paved the way for sites like BetterHelp to come and offer mental assistance to people. However, this comes with its own set of pros and cons. This article will delve into the upsides and downsides of online counseling.

The Pros

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  • Online counseling is a good option for people who live in far-flung places.

Some rural or remote areas might not have institutions that offer mental health support services. Instead of traveling to the nearest city for every consultation, one can opt for online counseling. The key is a decent WiFi connection and a device that can access the internet. However, “This kind of effort takes a fair amount of commitment and understanding of the online world.” A reminder from John M. Grohol, Psy.D.


  • It’s good for those with busy schedules or physical limitations.

If you’re working or have family obligations, online counseling is an option. The same goes if you have a condition that makes mobility difficult. It is convenient and comfortable because you don’t have to leave the house for your consultation.


  • There are many ways the client and counselor can communicate.

The client is given many choices in terms of communication. You can talk using the written medium via emails or chat rooms. You can also choose to call your counselor or reach them via video chat. It makes it easier for the client because they get to choose the means of communication that they’re very much comfortable.


  • Anonymity can be guaranteed.

If communication is through emails or chat rooms, there is less concern for bias. Everyone has preferences, including counselors, and this can stem from stereotyping based on age, race, gender, or physical appearance. With the fear of being stereotyped out of the way, the client can be more open with the counselor.


  • It makes information more accessible.

Since contact with counselors becomes available online, the knowledge they have in mental health becomes more accessible. It ensures that information on mental health is present, even in the more rural and remote areas.


The Cons

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  • Technical difficulties can be a problem.

If you have bad internet or an old device, communication with your counselor can become difficult. You might spend more time configuring your microphone or fixing your internet router than actually talking about what you feel.


  • The credibility of the counselor is questionable.

Various websites offer online counseling services, but licensed professionals manage not all of them. Some might be amateurs or inexperienced individuals who only claim to be counselors.


  • The counselor does not see the nonverbal cues.

Counselors rely on what their client is saying as well as their physical responses. It helps them pinpoint how you feel. If you communicate with your counselor through email or in chat rooms, you will get rid of this.


  • There are concerns regarding privacy and confidentiality.

By undergoing counseling through the internet, the content of your sessions become accessible online. These records won’t be easy to access, but a skilled hacker can get to them. It is a threat to the security of your files.


  • The effectiveness of the practice is questionable.

Without any face-to-face interaction, many are beginning to question the efficacy of online counseling. Whether it can help in diagnosing patients is still up for debate.

These are only some of the pros and cons of online counseling. Keep these in mind when choosing between traditional counseling and online counseling. Both are sure to be helpful, but which one works better for you? Only you can answer that question.

The internet is not only an avenue for reconnecting with people and sharing funny content. It has now become a place where those in need of mental health support can seek professional help.

Overcoming Mental Health Issues: What Works And What Won’t Work

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The idea of overcoming mental health issues is challenging. Anxiety, depression, OCD, and others take place when the human brain malfunctions. And this malfunction is caused by circumstances that can be overwhelming for the person’s mental, emotional, psychological and behavioral health. With that, one needs to cope with being able to bounce back.

What Happens If Marriage Counseling Fails

Everyone wants to have and keep a happy family at all times. No one wants to end up filing a divorce decree in court and fighting over child custody. However, several things have changed over the past few decades. Nowadays, several couples already decide to go on separate ways because of irreconcilable differences. Unfortunately, regardless of the marriage counseling sessions, they still find out that they are not compatible from since the beginning of time.


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It can be heartbreaking for any person to realize that marriage counseling did not work. If you have experienced this, do not worry because it is not the end of the world. Below are some of the ideal things that you can do after realizing that counseling failed and that divorce is going to happen soon:


Stop The Blame Game


Never blame anyone for the failure of the marriage counseling efforts. No one deserves to be in a bad light just because you did not get what you want. Remember that counseling is not a guarantee that the problems in the marriage will be solved immediately. It is a form of treatment wherein the parties involved are given opportunities to discuss their issues maturely. As such, if counseling failed you, the best thing to do is to accept the reality and avoid blaming yourself or your spouse. At the same time, do not accuse the counselor of being incompetent.


Prepare To Say Goodbye


If you think that separation and divorce is imminent to happen soon, the next step that you must do is to prepare yourself for the goodbyes. Heather Edwards LMHC, NCC, BCC says, “It can be difficult to re-establish a healthy routine and empower yourself after a toxic relationship. Fortunately, coming to the realization that you need to let go is one of the most difficult steps.” It is difficult to end a marriage with someone whom you love for years. You will find yourself in constant denial because you are afraid of what the future may hold for you and your spouse. However, you have no choice but to part ways. Keep in mind that it is more disheartening and sad to stay in a loveless marriage. You deserve to start a new life as well as your husband. Let go and wait for better days to come.


Talk To A Friend


There is a high chance or possibility that you will start to feel helpless after the counseling efforts have proved to be futile. Do not easily get discouraged because there are still tons of people around you who are willing to help you move on from the sad experience. Do not hesitate to get in touch with a friend who can give you a different view or perspective of what is happening in your life. As Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC advises, “If you have had significant issues around trust, safety, or stability in relationships previously, I think it’s important for people to have other sources of support outside of their partner(s). This support can come in various forms such as friends, family members, clergy, and even a therapist.”

Feel free to open up to this individual, as long as you believe that she can be trusted. Sometimes, all it needs is to have a one-on-one talk with a good friend so that you can feel relief. Keep in mind that honesty is essential to make it work. If you continue to lie, then the people around you will end up hating you.


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Observe Your Children


Not all parents know this, but children are observant individuals, which is why they can sense right away if there is something wrong with their parents. Do not think that your kids are not aware of what is happening between you and their father. Because of this, it is vital and imperative on your part o to be mindful of the kids involved. Observe their behavior and be sure to take note of the changes. Once you notice that they are acting weird and rebellious, that is the time to start a serious conversation with them.


Finalize The Divorce Papers


Did you and your husband finally decide to call it quits? Do you believe that it is about time to let go of each other? If you answered yes to both questions, then expect divorce to happen any time soon. What you must do is hire a legal counsel who must be from your area. This lawyer must have experience in handling divorce cases. Take note that divorce is a sensitive issue that must be addressed by a good lawyer. It involves adjudication of rights and obligations, which is why you must search for the best lawyer who can help in preparing the divorce papers. “All marriages are not salvageable. In the process of marriage counseling, some couples may discover it is healthier for them to be apart.” Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP explains.


Move On To Better Days


As already mentioned above, you are left with no choice but to let go of what has already happened. A divorce is not the end of it all. You still have a chance to become happy, regardless of how the marriage ended. The smart thing to do is to play your cards well. Do everything you can to move on, such as traveling around the globe or volunteering in new activities. Do whatever makes you smile and happy because you deserve it. Stop believing that your happiness depends on your husband or soon-to-be ex.


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Do not hate marriage counseling just because it did not work for you. Remind yourself that a lot of things happen for a reason.


Marriage Counseling: Is It A Scam?

Divorce has become a widespread phenomenon all over the world. Several couples still experience heart breaks for so many reasons. These spouses usually end up in divorce or legal separation. Unfortunately, some marital ties have already reached a point where reconciliation is no longer feasible between the parties involved. Sometimes, no matter how hard lovers make an effort to save the marriage, they will still decide to part in separate ways.

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How The Family Can Further Help A Bipolar Patient During Therapy

Getting a diagnosis for bipolar disorder is not only challenging to accept for the patient but also for their family members. Although the illness takes years to confirm, the parents and siblings who have always been by their side undoubtedly wish that the disease is something else – something curable. After all, nobody wants to believe that his or her loved one has a condition that will continue to weaken that person throughout their life until the test results are out.

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Top Reasons To Go For Career Counseling


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Many people tend to think that counseling is only for one’s mental health or marital issues. What they forget is that some career counselors help individuals recognize their potential in their professions. Others may think this is unnecessary, but it may actually have present vital benefits for people today. As Hannah Goodman, LMHC explains, “Therapy is linked to health benefits that can ripple out to positively impact your work and career (and overall happiness!) and help you avoid costly healthcare bills.”

If you’re considering seeing a career counselor, but aren’t entirely convinced, here are some reasons why you should get an appointment as soon as you can.


Clarify Career Goals

It’s hard to build a career without having any clear objective. While it’s good to go out and experiment to see what it is you want to do in the future, you can’t do so forever. At some point, you’re going to have to set your foot down and make decisions and goals.

This is where your counselor comes in. They’re trained to help you identify specific targets that are feasible, timely and reasonable. This way you can make sure that you can actually realistically achieve them.


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Identify Strengths And Weaknesses

 If you’ve ever been interviewed before, be it for work or for the university, you’ll know that one of the most typical questions they ask is “what are your strengths and weaknesses?” So that you don’t find yourself scrambling for an answer, you should figure this out beforehand.

Admittedly, it may be difficult to have an objective awareness of your faults and assets. You may not realize that you have some good abilities and skills that are perfect for the workplace. Likewise, you may not also notice habits and traits you have that are unfavorable to coworkers and employers. A career counselor will be able to help you identify these from an objective standpoint.

“Use your strengths of critical thinking and hope to look at any negative situation in a fresh way. You might tap into hope to see how there are benefits to the stressor. ” –Ryan M. Niemiec Psy.D.

Learn Effective Communication And Networking Skills

 It’s true that those who find success in their careers owe it to having a good network of contacts. The idea of networking and socializing may be daunting to some. It’s difficult enough ordering that daily cup of coffee from a barista you’ve already spoken to several times, what more when you’re talking to potential employers and co-workers in a business environment?

But having an extensive network opens up so many opportunities. The idea is for both you and your newfound contacts to be able to benefit from your connection. One connection leads to another and another and so on. These contacts can potentially help you land a job or connect you with big players in the industry.

A counselor can help you get ready for such events and situations. You’ll have the benefit of practicing with only a single person for a while before they help you by trying out the real deal. Chris Corbett, PsyD once said, “Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, interpersonal relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life.” He’s right with that.


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Gain Knowledge Regarding Professional Requirements

The first thing employers screen with applicants is their resume or their curriculum vitae (CV). Would you know what the differences between these two are? Do you know how to prepare a cover letter? These are absolute essentials when seeking employment.

A career counselor will be able to guide you through these requirements. You’ll be able to know how to improve your resume or CV so that it stands out from the rest. They’ll also be able to coach you on basic etiquette during interviews as well as dress codes and policies.

Therefore, if you are still unsure of what you should do for your career, having a career counseling is not a bad idea. It will help you from preventing yourself from going into a profession that you have zero interest and saving you from wasting your time.

How Can You Foster Creativity During Therapy?


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More or less, each person has a left and right side of their brains. Left brain, meaning, inclined to numeracy and with logical functions.  The right side of the brain, on the other hand, is used to cater to artistic capability, imagination, and the more creative sphere.


What Does This Mean?

Not all people are wired the same way. As Stacy Donn Cristo, LMHC emphasizes, “Many people turn to therapy because they feel as though they are not functioning.” Some individuals are more functional using their right brainand there are others who are using their left brain more.

In therapy, verbal communication is often used as the primary tool to engage the patient. However, not all people can respond to oral communication in the same manner. As such, are you aware of that in therapy, creativity can be increasingly utilized?  That therapy and creativity can actually jive together? Know more about it here.


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What Is The Importance Of Creativity In Therapy?

Through creative pursuits, people can reveal their innermost feelings without even talking. It can serve as an outlet for many kinds of patients in therapy. Furthermore, this approach can be used and greatly help when the patient has gone through traumatic experiences.

Moreover, using creative approaches to therapy may also be used in engaging children. Most children enjoy drawing out what they have imagined. In the same manner, children tend to express repressed emotions through drawings or other creative outlets like poems and stories. Most of the time, there is no fine line between reality and imagination for children. As such, they are most likely to respond to this kind of therapy.

“The art *process* itself is where the magic happens! It is not about making “good” art — this art is from the inside and it is not always going to look “pretty.” –Elena Lamaak, MA, LMHC

For adults, there are also existing kinds of therapy that integrate the greater use of the patient’s imagination to foster increased mental awareness for patients. For example, there are activities in therapy where the patients are required to translate their negative emotions into drawings, so that they may be aware of it and prevent themselves into going more in-depth into those emotions in the future.


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The importance of this kind of therapy is that the patients will be able to illustrate feelings they are having trouble expressing. During this moment the person can freely say anything, no matter how trivial, for him to go through the depths of his imagination and cognition.

Using the principle stated above, because there are differences on how people are wired, some individuals may greatly benefit from when using the creative approach and may even respond positively.

At first, the therapist and the patient may go through a rough start since sharing one’s creative nature is indeed uncomfortable, but once they freely explore them and let their minds wander, then will that individual be able to free himself from the shackles of a deep emotional slump.The therapist may incorporate creativity into every session.

“There are various uses for art therapy with regards to healing, but the benefits may surprise you if you’ve never heard of art as a form of therapy.”  Douglas Mitchell, LMFT said. This kind of therapy might expose emotions which are previously unknown to the patient.

Thus, the therapist’s job in this kind of approach is not to be taken lightly because the therapist will be the one to handle and process these raw emotions professionally.

In this time and age, different kinds of therapy are already available for patients. While this type of therapy may further enhance the experience of patients in therapy, it is important to note that the higher burden of healing lies with the support of friends and family.